The only reason the grant/subscribe issue matters = the grant access is right in the spot (on the profile page) where the " friend " button was on eljay. If someone is new to dw and don't really understand how dw friending works, they can easily only grant access, without recalling to subscribe - which, as you mentioned, is not v. useful.

This could be helped if everyone remembered to both subscribe and grant access (or primarily to subscribe), but, yes.