robot_mod: ([ ultraviolet ])
robot_mod ([personal profile] robot_mod) wrote in [community profile] thatrainbowcity2012-03-09 12:07 am

How's My Driving?

H.M.D.?!
[I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED!!]


How It Works:
[1] List your name and your characters for which you would like some feedback (use our handy form, if you like)!

[2] Please refrain from posting pictures, .gifs, videos, giant text, sparklies, blinking and moving tags, and &c. outside of collapsed threads. For the sake of our sanity and our load times. You are welcome to link to them in top-level comments, but otherwise please save 'em for collapsed threads.

[3] Open hands, await feedback and go forth and leave some polite thoughts, crit, questions, concerns, comments, suggestions, or any combination of the above for your fellow players about their respective characters. In this, we really encourage you to ask questions and get explanations about what has gone into characterization decisions. Communication is key. Find out what went into an action or decision and you may come to understand it better. Let's talk it out.

[4] Please try to be polite and constructive. Can't stress that enough, can I? Give suggestions and ask questions! Be constructive! But please also refrain from using "placeholder" comments. HMD isn't going anywhere, I promise!

[5] If you'd like, you can certainly list your personal HMD posts and contact posts over in the POLYchromatic Rainbow Pages directory.

[6] As per our community poll, Anonymous is off. We'd also like to request that sockpuppets not be used on this HMD. You are welcome to post a link to a personal HMD thread where Anonymous is allowed; these threads are your own lookout.

The form:


To the best of my abilities, I'll keep an ongoing and alphabetical list of everyone's HMD comments here below for your browsing pleasure.

A - HI - PQ - Z
Alex (Rosella)
Alms (Brian, Allison, Neil, Frankie, Tommy)
Ary (Raphael)
Ashley (Jack)
Audrey (Olivia, Amory)
Bon (Mr. Orange, Jerry)
Caru (Cain, Poncho-kun, Katan)
Cass (Slick)
Cella (Mae, Sif)
Chris (Pepper)
Christa (Gabriel)
Cricket (Akira)
Dawn (Mara, Cinna, Haji)
Ellie (Ginny)
Emma (Howard)
Eppy (Natasha, Simon)
Eri (Faith, Castile, Donna, McGonagall)
Faith (Fred, Molly)

Gadgets (Ariadne, Mr. Blonde)
Haunt (Euphemia)
Inji (Percy J.)
Jaina (Roxas)
Jane (Yuri, Tony)
Jansen (10, Harry)
Jessi (Akito/Agito/Lind)
KaOS (Evil Ed)
Katie (Peter)
Katya (Pig)
Katya II (Karl)
Kaye (Marta)
Kestrel (Elmer)
Kimmeh! (Ikki)
Kris (Sam)
Kristi (Dean, Buffy, Lucy, Rose)
Laura (William)
Lee (Huey)
Liam (Arya, Nathan)
Lila (Tyr)
Lisa (Dawn, Derek, Jenny)
Lysoke (Cassian, Glenn)
Mai (Rain, Mercy)
Marion (Stephen, Dulcie, George)
Melon (Saya)
Mici (Saya, Eden, Capt. America, Mr. Pink, Billy, Edmund)
Molly (Dr. House, Mr. White)
Mouse (Charlie)
Nao (Gazelle)
Neko (Ken, Setsuna)
Nelly (Eames)
Nyte (Solomon, Rido, Piglet)
Parsnip (Liam)
Pixy (Chase)
Rae (Wilson, Todd, Doc Brown)
Raine (Estellise, Akane)
Rey (Kira)
Rizu (Break, Hazuki)
Rumi (Liz)
Ruxi (Rosiel)
Sarah (Bucky, 11)
Setine (Thor)
Tam (Curt, Teddy, Sparrow)
Taryn (Alisha)
Thorn (Kazuma)
Tona (Tessa, Amy, The Archive, Rhodey)
Toss (Merlin)
Val (Elliot)
Valya (Raymond, Jack, Robert)
Veda (Justin, Penny, Chekov)
Vee (Carla, Marie, Anna)
Yuki/KGaara (Aion, Klarth)
Zekoi (Mithos)
Zen (Rita)
boutant: ([architect] hand gestures)

Gadgets

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Player name: Gadgets
Characters played:
Ariadne :: Inception :: [personal profile] boutant
Mr. Blonde :: Reservoir Dogs :: [personal profile] blonderazorshiv
Personal concrit link: here and here
Anonymous allowed/encouraged? Y/N: um I think so /squints at DW... I don't mind as long as you come back to it and have a dialogue with me.
Other comments? FOREVER CONCERNED about vocal patterns, especially with Blonde since he's still fairly new to me and doesn't... talk much...
feorge: (Default)

[personal profile] feorge 2012-03-09 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
You's a ho.

And by that, I mean you's a fabulous ho.


This is a compliment.
boutant: ([smile] really something)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
ooh ms faith ooh

<333
feorge: (Default)

[personal profile] feorge 2012-03-09 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
.....oh, whoops, I probably should've waited for you to respond before replying again lakdsjf;lakdsjf


LOOK DOWN. DOWN THERE. YEAH. BELOW. IN THE DOWN AREA.
boutant: ([awe] can I do that?)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
I want you to know that I literally looked down in real life. /facepalm

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[personal profile] feorge - 2012-03-09 06:18 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] boutant - 2012-03-09 06:23 (UTC) - Expand
feorge: (Default)

[personal profile] feorge 2012-03-09 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
On a slightly more serious note, I really really cannot express how much I enjoy Fred and Ariadne's friendship. It's vitriolic and destructive at times, and then the sweetest and most profound bond on the planet at others. Their dynamic is hilarious, and I don't think Fred is putting up with her for George's sake anymore. He really and truly adores her.

As far as Ariadne's speech patterns go, I think you've got it right from what I can remember. I haven't seen the movie in a long time, but you definitely have her bull-headed straight-forwardness down pat. She doesn't afraid of anything, and I really really enjoy that you are perfectly comfortable with her getting up in people's business. It'd be way too easy to shy away for the sake of ease, but you drop kick ease in the face and do whatever the fuck Ariadne wants to do. Which is brill.

Pretty much? Keep it up, bb. I love everything.
boutant: ([default] tea/coffee)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
Sob their friendship is wonderful even when it's also absolutely terrible and I love it. Fred pushes her and Ariadne pushes right back and they're both so unwilling to give an inch, it's great.

I am just forever going to worry about speech patterns and I have no idea when it started becoming a Thing that I constantly worry about but it did, bluh. Still, I'm glad she sounds right to you and I'm glad I'm getting her stubborn, bull-headed, straight-forward, poke-and-prod thing across since to me it's such a huge part of who she is. She's the curious, stubborn architect who wants to get to the bottom of things, even if you're going to yell at her for it. Maybe someday she'll even be better at being subtle about it, lmfao.

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[personal profile] feorge - 2012-03-09 06:36 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] boutant - 2012-03-09 07:03 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] pratentious - 2012-03-09 19:12 (UTC) - Expand
archivy: (KITTY)

[personal profile] archivy 2012-03-09 09:52 am (UTC)(link)
Focussing on Ariadne only since I don't know Mr Blonde at all. I think you're doing a great job with her, both in terms of activity and in terms of her voice and characterisation. I really have to throw Rhodey at her more often, I enjoyed their interaction tremendously. I also think that for all that you're consistent with her in terms of movie compliance, you've done a really good job of developing her and her relationships beyond what they are in the movie (e.g. her friendship with Eames). So. Yes. Kudos!
boutant: ([smile] great)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
She and Rhodey were wonderful together! If nothing else works, he should definitely come see what she gets up to in engineering. I'm glad she's coming off as consistent even with her added development in Poly; it can be a bit tricky since in the movie everything is a work environment (though at times a highly dangerous one...) so though I've had a lot of fun shoving her into situations/conversations she wouldn't get up to back home or with her colleagues, I still worry that things might seem off even though I try and keep the core bits of her personality there. ... it's four in the morning and I am rambling about things idek I SHOULD GO SLEEP but thank you very much! :D

/gives Ivy a quick squeeze because sdg;klsdghg so cute
warmachine: (♔ 031)

[personal profile] warmachine 2012-03-09 10:15 am (UTC)(link)
They were, and I absolutely want more of that. And I really really think that you've done a very good job in keeping her consistent and yet having her develop further than was shown in the movie. Core bits of her personality are all there and accounted for, her characterisation really strikes me as very well done and thought through. ALSO YES GO SLEEP alsdkjaskj four in the morning you people are all crazy.

Ivy is the cutest ;;
dignity_misery: (just pass the time)

Re: Gadgets

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2012-03-09 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Since you said you were concerned about vocal patterns... I sat and thought about Blondie for a minute for you....

I do not know at all if you are as tonal as I am, so I do not know if what I am going to attempt to type will make any sense to you, but imma try. Since I literally sat here and was humming different things trying to suss out some of the distinctions orz

It seems to me, sort of... running through him in my own head that the main difference between his spoken version and your written version is which part of the sentence is emphasized. With you, it tends to start at the start and then trails off. Which... makes sense, when you are doing something textual like RP, that is how text works, but with him, the actual emphasis tends to be on the end.

Like... the first half of most of what he says is the Smile And Niceness and the second half is always the Asshole Who Will Shoot you. The second part is where the real message is. So... even in his not talking very much, there is room to condense even further if you take only the actual meat of what he says.

SO. After all that rambling. I think a way that you could represent this is to actually give yourself some room to let him talk a bit more, because that's the fluff, that's the facade, but you could try to end sentences punchier via word choice (clipped/harsh sounds, limited syllables, things like that) and sort of deliberately arranging things so that the real meaning of what's up is the last thing he leaves you with.

That would be my take on it! I hope it helps you feel more confident about it in the future cause I love him 8(
Edited 2012-03-09 14:28 (UTC)
boutant: ([action] so a man walks into a bar)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not terribly tonal at all, at least when it comes to spoken speech, but I think you did a good job explaining it anyway -- I can grasp most of it, at least XD; Thank you so much, this is exactly what I was looking for.

I've tried looking at the script but the one I found had a lot of differences in who actually said what compared to the movie; I'll have to see if Bon or someone has one and if not, time to type up all his lines. I think having something to look at and run through RIGHT THERE will help as I start trying to work through this and hopefully I can go from there with the written lines + making him say a bit more. His voice has been bothering me a lot, which... sob is part of why I've been so slow about doing his tags a lot of time.

Thank you so much <333
dignity_misery: (holy water)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2012-03-09 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
It occurred to me on my drive that I could have explained it like....

He starts out sort of bland, almost mumbling. You noticed it in saying how he sounds sort of hoarse and sick! But then he makes a slow build to menacing.

(jaws theme)

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[personal profile] boutant - 2012-03-09 22:11 (UTC) - Expand
shall_yield_us: (la dee da)

[personal profile] shall_yield_us 2012-03-09 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I sadly didn't keep track of Mr. Blonde, or I'd answer your voice-questions - but I promise to do so by the time of the next hmd ;;

Your Ariadne is really cute, and I'm excited to see you working off the pieces canon gave and supplementing them to round her up and just threading everywhere! Mycroft will (not) miss the City duckling!
boutant: ([architect] hmmm)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I need to do more with Blonde anyway; this voice insecurity has helped me not force him to be a bit more social orz.

sdlgkh I'm glad you like her! She will (not) miss Mycroft as well, lmfao.
yourbestguysgun: (Bucky || Aim)

[personal profile] yourbestguysgun 2012-03-09 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Ariadne is so flawless. I need to tag her more.
boutant: ([awe] memories and trains)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahhh thank you ;; She and Bucky should have their dogs (well, okay, it's Arthur's dog, but close enough) have a playdate.
yourbestguysgun: (Bucky || Sharp)

[personal profile] yourbestguysgun 2012-03-11 10:59 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, totally. That is a thing that should happen.

[personal profile] ex_bloodcakedarmor707 2012-03-09 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I haven't played with Mr. Blonde but Ariadne. I only just recently watched Inception (a few months ago) and it always impresses me when movie characters are brought to life. You get two hours to get these little snippets of a character and then what? Whereas with TV muses you get tons of background and history and motivations etc. So I'm very much in love with what you've done with Ariadne.

You've built this whole life for her despite what little you got from the film. She's a vibrant character. You always give me enough in tags with her that I have no trouble thinking of things to put in responses to her. Especially with Dawn. Threads with Dawn and Ariadne are a breeze and they're fun too. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate being given enough in a tag that tagging back is so easy to do.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your efforts with her as a character and in your fantastic tags have not gone unnoticed. You always give me a lot of fodder to work with and I love that.

All the love! ♥
boutant: ([smile] :>)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Like I said up above to Tona (I think... it was four in the morning...) it can be especially difficult because in a movie like Inception, you're given more or less one environment that these characters are in and that's it. You don't get to see how Ariadne works outside of a work environment (and a highly dangerous work environment) with people who, at the time, are colleagues, where like you mentioned, with a TV show (and even some other movies) you get all sorts of scenarios and details, even if the most we'll ever hear about Derek going out with friends is a throw-away line (and I need to tag Derek because I used to be a huge Criminal Minds fan). SO TL;DR LOTS OF PARENTHESES I'm glad you like her/what I've been doing with her!

Dawn and Ariadne are so cute and fun. Dawn really helps Ariadne say and share more than she might otherwise, too, since she's so verbose and bouncy and it rubs off. I can't currently remember what the word for it is, but you might have noticed that if you hang out with people who use certain words/phrases, you start to pick that up, especially if you have a positive attachment to them. That's what Dawn does to Ariadne; Aria likes her, considers her a friend, wants to hang out more, and so she ends up speaking more than she might otherwise to match, and it's really fun to play out :3

Anyway, I'm glad you get enough to work with in my tags (even if part of it might be what I just babbled about XD;) and I'm glad you're enjoying her! ♥♥♥
latenightfondue: (Default)

[personal profile] latenightfondue 2012-03-09 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm a huge fan of Inception, so I secretly love all of the muses, but you play Ariadne so beautifully, and I love her. I always feel bad when she's got Howard being Howard because she's too good for his nonesense. But she is the best and I'd love to do more threads with her in the future.
boutant: ([smile] nice try)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-09 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you like her! Don't feel bad; Howard being Howard is hilarious, especially when Ariadne shows her more naive side and isn't quite sure what the hell he's going on about XD We will definitely have to thread more in the future!
latenightfondue: (Default)

[personal profile] latenightfondue 2012-03-10 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)
To be honest, I don't know if anyone ever knows what he's going on about, me included. XD He'll definitely come bother her some more. :3
intheblanks: (⚡ FAIR)

Gadgets

[personal profile] intheblanks 2012-03-10 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I have never seen Reservoir Dogs, although I happen to have the screenplay on my floor at the moment while I procrastinate over writing script critiques, but I enjoy reading Blonde. He's just sort of.... smirky and lurky and I'm sure Chase doesn't actively try to hang.

And little architect girl, he will tell you terrible stories anytime.
boutant: ([mirror] reflection)

[personal profile] boutant 2012-03-10 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I really need to see if I can find a version of the script that's closer to the movie, since the version I found had different characters saying different lines and it threw me off. I'm glad you like reading him, though! He is a big smirky lurker so that means I must be doing something right XD

Yaaaaay story time :D