robot_mod (
robot_mod) wrote in
thatrainbowcity2012-03-09 12:07 am
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
How's My Driving?
[I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED!!]
How It Works:
[1] List your name and your characters for which you would like some feedback (use our handy form, if you like)!
[2] Please refrain from posting pictures, .gifs, videos, giant text, sparklies, blinking and moving tags, and &c. outside of collapsed threads. For the sake of our sanity and our load times. You are welcome to link to them in top-level comments, but otherwise please save 'em for collapsed threads.
[3] Open hands, await feedback and go forth and leave some polite thoughts, crit, questions, concerns, comments, suggestions, or any combination of the above for your fellow players about their respective characters. In this, we really encourage you to ask questions and get explanations about what has gone into characterization decisions. Communication is key. Find out what went into an action or decision and you may come to understand it better. Let's talk it out.
[4] Please try to be polite and constructive. Can't stress that enough, can I? Give suggestions and ask questions! Be constructive! But please also refrain from using "placeholder" comments. HMD isn't going anywhere, I promise!
[5] If you'd like, you can certainly list your personal HMD posts and contact posts over in the POLYchromatic Rainbow Pages directory.
[6] As per our community poll, Anonymous is off. We'd also like to request that sockpuppets not be used on this HMD. You are welcome to post a link to a personal HMD thread where Anonymous is allowed; these threads are your own lookout.
The form:
To the best of my abilities, I'll keep an ongoing and alphabetical list of everyone's HMD comments here below for your browsing pleasure.
Gadgets
Characters played:
Ariadne :: Inception ::
Mr. Blonde :: Reservoir Dogs ::
Personal concrit link: here and here
Anonymous allowed/encouraged? Y/N: um I think so /squints at DW... I don't mind as long as you come back to it and have a dialogue with me.
Other comments? FOREVER CONCERNED about vocal patterns, especially with Blonde since he's still fairly new to me and doesn't... talk much...
no subject
And by that, I mean you's a fabulous ho.
This is a compliment.
no subject
<333
no subject
LOOK DOWN. DOWN THERE. YEAH. BELOW. IN THE DOWN AREA.
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
As far as Ariadne's speech patterns go, I think you've got it right from what I can remember. I haven't seen the movie in a long time, but you definitely have her bull-headed straight-forwardness down pat. She doesn't afraid of anything, and I really really enjoy that you are perfectly comfortable with her getting up in people's business. It'd be way too easy to shy away for the sake of ease, but you drop kick ease in the face and do whatever the fuck Ariadne wants to do. Which is brill.
Pretty much? Keep it up, bb. I love everything.
no subject
I am just forever going to worry about speech patterns and I have no idea when it started becoming a Thing that I constantly worry about but it did, bluh. Still, I'm glad she sounds right to you and I'm glad I'm getting her stubborn, bull-headed, straight-forward, poke-and-prod thing across since to me it's such a huge part of who she is. She's the curious, stubborn architect who wants to get to the bottom of things, even if you're going to yell at her for it. Maybe someday she'll even be better at being subtle about it, lmfao.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
no subject
/gives Ivy a quick squeeze because sdg;klsdghg so cute
no subject
Ivy is the cutest ;;
Re: Gadgets
I do not know at all if you are as tonal as I am, so I do not know if what I am going to attempt to type will make any sense to you, but imma try. Since I literally sat here and was humming different things trying to suss out some of the distinctions orz
It seems to me, sort of... running through him in my own head that the main difference between his spoken version and your written version is which part of the sentence is emphasized. With you, it tends to start at the start and then trails off. Which... makes sense, when you are doing something textual like RP, that is how text works, but with him, the actual emphasis tends to be on the end.
Like... the first half of most of what he says is the Smile And Niceness and the second half is always the Asshole Who Will Shoot you. The second part is where the real message is. So... even in his not talking very much, there is room to condense even further if you take only the actual meat of what he says.
SO. After all that rambling. I think a way that you could represent this is to actually give yourself some room to let him talk a bit more, because that's the fluff, that's the facade, but you could try to end sentences punchier via word choice (clipped/harsh sounds, limited syllables, things like that) and sort of deliberately arranging things so that the real meaning of what's up is the last thing he leaves you with.
That would be my take on it! I hope it helps you feel more confident about it in the future cause I love him 8(
no subject
I've tried looking at the script but the one I found had a lot of differences in who actually said what compared to the movie; I'll have to see if Bon or someone has one and if not, time to type up all his lines. I think having something to look at and run through RIGHT THERE will help as I start trying to work through this and hopefully I can go from there with the written lines + making him say a bit more. His voice has been bothering me a lot, which... sob is part of why I've been so slow about doing his tags a lot of time.
Thank you so much <333
no subject
He starts out sort of bland, almost mumbling. You noticed it in saying how he sounds sort of hoarse and sick! But then he makes a slow build to menacing.
(jaws theme)
(no subject)
no subject
Your Ariadne is really cute, and I'm excited to see you working off the pieces canon gave and supplementing them to round her up and just threading everywhere! Mycroft will (not) miss the City duckling!
no subject
sdlgkh I'm glad you like her! She will (not) miss Mycroft as well, lmfao.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
You've built this whole life for her despite what little you got from the film. She's a vibrant character. You always give me enough in tags with her that I have no trouble thinking of things to put in responses to her. Especially with Dawn. Threads with Dawn and Ariadne are a breeze and they're fun too. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate being given enough in a tag that tagging back is so easy to do.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your efforts with her as a character and in your fantastic tags have not gone unnoticed. You always give me a lot of fodder to work with and I love that.
All the love! ♥
no subject
Dawn and Ariadne are so cute and fun. Dawn really helps Ariadne say and share more than she might otherwise, too, since she's so verbose and bouncy and it rubs off. I can't currently remember what the word for it is, but you might have noticed that if you hang out with people who use certain words/phrases, you start to pick that up, especially if you have a positive attachment to them. That's what Dawn does to Ariadne; Aria likes her, considers her a friend, wants to hang out more, and so she ends up speaking more than she might otherwise to match, and it's really fun to play out :3
Anyway, I'm glad you get enough to work with in my tags (even if part of it might be what I just babbled about XD;) and I'm glad you're enjoying her! ♥♥♥
no subject
no subject
no subject
Gadgets
And little architect girl, he will tell you terrible stories anytime.
no subject
Yaaaaay story time :D